Ever since they had pumped Jackie full of antibiotics and kept her in the hospital for a week, she was very afraid of getting her next chemo. However, it was time for our next "new" medicine. The Zofran had seemed to be of some help, and now Jackie's doctor had gotten approval for another new drug that had just come onto the market: GCSF (growth colony stimulating factor, one of several kinds). It's supposed to stimulate the growth of the cells that the marrow produces that later turn into white blood cells (or something along those lines). After the last experience with the week in the hospital, this sure sounded like a good idea. I'm not sure why, but for some reason the week was very disturbing to everyone. Jackie's been in the hospital at least four times before this, and for bigger things. This was purely precautionary, but it really set us all on edge. Insurance approved the Zofran without a squawk -- I'm not sure why we have trouble on some things and not on others. This costs $1,400 for a 14 day treatment.

The down side of GCSF is that it has to be injected at about the same time each day for 14 days, starting 3 or 4 days after the chemo. If Jackie hadn't spent the week in the hospital, there was no way that she would put up with being stuck 14 times. They explained the whole process of how to inject the stuff, and Jackie got pretty nervous about it. Having injected numerous animals in college, I feel pretty comfortable about being able to do it for her. Easy to say -- it doesn't hurt me -- but on the other hand hurting her seems to hurt more than hurting myself. But, at least the hesitation isn't there.

The process is much like insulin shots. You use very short needles, and you are supposed to inject the GCSF just under the skin. The nurses recommend either the fatty area at the triceps or the thigh. I prefer the triceps area, alternating between left and right. Apparently, I don't do it too badly. I just have to watch how fast I push the drug in. Too fast and it causes pain. There was a small bruise the first time I did it, but after that it went pretty well.

Unfortunately, I was out of town a couple of nights and Jackie had to give herself the injections. Bad news. She couldn't really reach around to the triceps area, so she went for the thigh shot. She got a bruise that must have been 4 inches across and it never really ever healed correctly. She must have hit a vein. The other shot she gave herself didn't have as bad an effect, but her self-confidence was ruined. I had to give her the shots -- she didn't believe that she could do them without really hurting herself.

It was all kind of overwhelming -- Jackie getting chemo, Jackie having to go to the hospital for a week, me having to go on a business trip while she was in the hospital, working, keeping tabs on how our chairman was progressing with the insurance company, and just plain trying to handle the fear.

You need to tell close friends and family and the people you work with what' s going on. Not only if you are the patient, but also if you are the coach. It is overwhelming and it takes its toll. People around you should be aware of what's going on in your life (not necessarily all the gory details) so they can make allowances for your behavior. If the stress doesn't thin your patience and make you snappy, I don't know what will. Stress also takes it's toll on your health (coach or patient). Stress makes you more likely to get sick, so do whatever you can to reduce stress -- find out what works for you. I jog. Every other day. During all the time Jackie was sick, jogging was, in my mind, what allowed me to deal with the stress. I'd burn it out. It worked for me. Find out what works for you and do it.

Our chairman was very busy, and so was the CEO of the insurance company. They weren't connecting. Meanwhile, the Secretary of State of Georgia asked them to reconsider, and he got a response: "NO." The insurance commissioner's people got a different response: "We don't think so." I was getting nervous, but I kept checking. Since our chairman wasn't able to connect with the insurance company's CEO, he had our VP of human resources and our CFO go and meet with the CEO of the insurance company. They got an answer: "It's business and we can't afford to let it happen."

Finally (I can be persistent and our chairman is stubborn) our chairman got their CEO. I wish I had heard the conversation. Later, I was told was that our chairman hung up on their CEO in the middle of the call. Their CEO later characterized our chairman as "abusive." I guess that meant the answer was still NO. Our chairman was STEAMED. He authorized me to sue, with the company picking up the tab. That was certainly much more than I had expected.